Revise a French argument paragraph: claim, reason and limit
Follow one French paragraph through three edits: name the problem, explain the proposed change and replace réglerait tout with a precise, limited benefit.
In short
Revise three things together: the problem, the link between your proposal and its benefit, and the size of the promise. A precise paragraph names what changes, explains how it helps and keeps a useful limit.
Yellow the idea to rememberBlue French to learnRed watch out
How do you revise a French argument paragraph?
Il faut organiser les réunions autrement parce que ce n’est pas pratique. Il y a beaucoup de problèmes. Une nouvelle méthode réglerait tout et les membres seraient contents.
Meetings need to be organised differently because the current arrangement is inconvenient. There are many problems. A new method would solve everything and members would be happy.
| Draft wording | Reader’s question | Decision for this revision |
|---|---|---|
| ce n’est pas pratique | What goes wrong? | Members sometimes receive decision documents after the meeting. |
| une nouvelle méthode | Which action do you propose? | Send the documents before the meeting. |
| réglerait tout | Which benefit follows from that action? | Give members time to examine the documents before deciding. |
Edit 1: name the problem
Les décisions sont prises pendant la réunion, mais les membres reçoivent parfois les documents nécessaires après la séance. Dans ces cas, ils ne peuvent pas les examiner avant de se prononcer.
Decisions are made during the meeting, but members sometimes receive the necessary documents after the session. In those cases, they cannot examine them before giving their view.
Now the reader can see the timing problem. Parfois keeps the frequency precise. Dans ces cas links the consequence to the meetings where the documents arrive late. These details give the recommendation something concrete to address.
Edit 2: connect the action and the benefit
Envoyer les documents avant la réunion donnerait aux membres le temps de les examiner. Cette préparation pourrait rendre les échanges plus précis.
Sending the documents before the meeting would give members time to examine them. This preparation could make the discussion more precise.
The proposed action changes the timing. The first sentence explains the immediate benefit: time to prepare. The second names an expected effect on the discussion. Cette préparation picks up the act of examining the documents.
Edit 3: give the promise a clear boundary
L’association devrait envoyer les documents avant chaque réunion. Les membres les reçoivent parfois après la séance et ne peuvent alors pas les examiner avant de se prononcer. Un envoi préalable leur donnerait le temps de préparer leurs questions. Cette préparation pourrait rendre les échanges plus précis, à condition que les documents soient clairs et accessibles. Elle ne supprimerait pas les désaccords, mais aiderait les membres à en discuter à partir d’informations partagées.
The association should send the documents before each meeting. Members sometimes receive them after the session and cannot then examine them before giving their view. Sending them in advance would give members time to prepare their questions. This preparation could make the discussion more precise, provided the documents are clear and accessible. It would not remove disagreements, but would help members discuss them using shared information.
| Form | Job in this paragraph |
|---|---|
| devrait envoyer | States the recommendation. |
| leur donnerait | Names the expected benefit for members. |
| pourrait rendre | Presents a possible improvement. |
| à condition que… soient… | States the condition with the subjunctive. |
| elle | Picks up cette préparation. |