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Asking politely in French: from donne-moi to auriez-vous l'amabilité

Edited by Chris Lee · Updated · About the library

Seven ways to ask for the salt, from a blunt donne-moi le sel to a very formal auriez-vous l'amabilité de…, on a politeness scale with when to use each.

In short

French politeness rises with each step: imperative (donne-moi), + s'il te plaît, question (tu peux… ?), conditional (tu pourrais… ?), vous + conditional (pourriez-vous… ?), je voudrais / j'aimerais, and the very formal auriez-vous l'amabilité de… ?

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One diner offers another a salt shaker across a simply set table.
Ask someone to pass the salt with s’il vous plaît. Illustration: Atelier

From blunt to very polite

very polite

  1. Auriez-vous l'amabilité de me passer le sel ?Would you be so kind as to pass me the salt?Very formal, can sound ironic!
  2. J'aimerais un peu de sel, s'il vous plaît.I'd like a little salt, please.
  3. Pourriez-vous me passer le sel ?Could you pass me the salt? (polite)At a formal dinner.
  4. Tu pourrais me passer le sel ?Could you pass me the salt?The conditional softens.
  5. Tu peux me passer le sel ?Can you pass me the salt?The everyday family version.
  6. Donne-moi le sel, s'il te plaît.Pass me the salt, please.
  7. Donne-moi le sel.Give me the salt.Blunt, only with family in a hurry.

blunt

Hear it in use

Au bureau
  1. Toi

    Pardon, est-ce que vous pourriez m'envoyer le dossier ?

    Excuse me, could you send me the file?

  2. Collègue

    Bien sûr. Tu peux aussi me tutoyer, hein !

    Of course. You can say tu to me, you know!

  3. Toi

    D'accord ! Alors, tu pourrais me l'envoyer avant midi ?

    OK! So could you send it to me before noon?

The conditional (pourrais, voudrais, aimerais) is the key to polite French: it turns a demand into a request. At the very top, auriez-vous l'amabilité de… is so formal that between friends it sounds sarcastic, a bit like "would you be so terribly kind".

Je vous serais reconnaissant de bien vouloir me répondre.

I would be grateful if you would reply.

Formal written request.

  • Je veux un café.Je voudrais un café.

    Je veux sounds demanding in a shop.

  • Vous pouvez me donner… ? (to a close friend)Tu peux me donner… ?

    Match tu/vous to the relationship.

Question 1No account needed
The politest everyday request in a shop:

Choose one answer.

Answer and explanation

Je voudrais une baguette, s'il vous plaît.. Conditional + s'il vous plaît.

Question 2No account needed
Auriez-vous l'amabilité… between friends sounds…

Choose one answer.

Answer and explanation

ironic, over-formal. Too formal for friends: it sounds sarcastic.

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