Review an advanced French draft: five passes with a worked example
Review a French options note for purpose, evidence, structure and language. Compare a faulty launch announcement with a complete revision and test your choices.
In short
Review the document’s purpose first, then its claims, evidence, structure and French. In an options note, changing lancera to procédera au lancement leaves the central problem intact if the committee has yet to choose a launch date.
Yellow the idea to rememberBlue French to learnRed watch out
The brief sets the first test
Présentez au comité les deux options encore ouvertes et recommandez la prochaine étape. Aucune date de lancement n’a été arrêtée.
Present the two options still open to the committee and recommend the next step. No launch date has been set.
| Point | Information available |
|---|---|
| Option A | Lancer le service en juin avec l’équipe actuelle. |
| Option B | Attendre septembre pour former une seconde équipe. |
| Staffing | La disponibilité de l’équipe actuelle en juin reste à vérifier. |
Le comité lancera le service en juin. Cette solution est manifestement la meilleure. L’équipe actuelle assurera le fonctionnement. Une seconde équipe pourrait être formée pour septembre.
The committee will launch the service in June. This solution is clearly the best. The current team will run it. A second team could be trained for September.
First reading: the opening announces a decision, and the staffing claim erases a pending check.
How do you review an advanced French draft?
| Pass | Ask | Edit in this draft |
|---|---|---|
| Purpose | Am I presenting options or announcing a decision? | Replace the launch announcement with the two options. |
| Evidence | Which claims go beyond the working file? | Keep June staffing explicitly unconfirmed. |
| Reasoning | What makes the recommendation follow? | Connect the staffing check to the choice of date. |
| Organisation | Can the committee compare the options? | Place the two dates and staffing arrangements together. |
| Language | Are references and verb forms clear? | Name the team and keep a recommendation distinct from a decision. |
Read the repaired note as one document
Deux options restent ouvertes : lancer le service en juin avec l’équipe actuelle, ou attendre septembre pour former une seconde équipe. La disponibilité de l’équipe actuelle en juin reste à vérifier. Nous recommandons donc de vérifier cette disponibilité avant de choisir une date de lancement.
Two options remain open: launching the service in June with the current team, or waiting until September to train a second team. The current team’s availability in June still needs to be checked. We therefore recommend checking that availability before choosing a launch date.
The opening now promises a comparison and supplies it. The conclusion asks for the check needed to make the choice. Read those two parts together after any substantial edit: a new body can leave an old introduction promising the wrong document.