French etiquette: choose a greeting for the person in front of you

Edited by Chris Lee · Updated · About the library

Use bonjour, salut, tu and vous in clear situations. Compare greeting scenes, ask about preferences and turn sweeping etiquette rules into useful notes.

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In short

Choose your greeting from the setting, your relationship and the other person’s preference. Bonjour with vous is a useful opening with someone you are meeting for the first time. Keep listening: a person or group may invite you to use tu.

Yellow the idea to rememberBlue French to learn

Two women meet warmly for the first time in a modest French workplace entrance, natural open-handed greeting with no handshake complexity or signage.
The greeting leaves room for on peut se tutoyer. Illustration: Atelier

Three exchanges, three clues

Premier rendez-vous avec une collègue
  1. Lina

    Bonjour, madame Bernard. Je suis Lina, votre nouvelle collègue.

    Hello, Ms Bernard. I’m Lina, your new colleague.

  2. Mme Bernard

    Bonjour, Lina. Appelez-moi Claire. On peut se tutoyer.

    Hello, Lina. Call me Claire. We can use tu with each other.

  3. Lina

    D’accord, Claire. Tu travailles ici depuis longtemps ?

    OK, Claire. Have you worked here long?

The invitation to use tu comes from Claire herself. Her job title or age would give you less precise information than On peut se tutoyer.

Un message à un ami
  1. Nora

    Bonjour Samir, tu as reçu mon message ?

    Hello Samir, have you received my message?

  2. Samir

    Oui, merci ! Je te réponds ce soir.

    Yes, thanks! I’ll reply this evening.

Bonjour works with tu. The greeting alone leaves the form of address open; tu, te and the relationship complete the picture.

Retrouver deux amis
  1. Vous

    Salut ! Comment allez-vous tous les deux ?

    Hi! How are you both?

  2. Les amis

    Très bien, et toi ?

    Very well, and you?

Tous les deux makes vous plural. These friends are being addressed together. Their answer et toi is directed back to one friend.

Replace a sweeping rule with an observable note
Sweeping claimUseful note
“Bonjour means the relationship is formal.”Nora says bonjour and uses tu with her friend.
“This workplace always uses vous.”Claire has invited Lina to use tu.
“Vous means social distance.”Here vous addresses two friends together.
“A first name automatically means tu.”Check the pronoun or ask what the person prefers.

How do you ask someone how they prefer to be greeted in French?

On peut se tutoyer ?

Can we use tu with each other?

A short question when the preference matters.

Je préfère qu’on se vouvoie, si ça vous va.

I’d prefer us to use vous with each other, if that’s all right with you.

This also gives the other person a clear preference to follow.

Make one useful etiquette note

A self-review aid, not a grade. Ticks are not saved.

Question 1No account needed
Claire says On peut se tutoyer. Which reply follows her invitation?

Choose one answer.

Answer and explanation

D’accord. Tu peux me montrer ?. The first reply uses the singular familiar form, following Claire’s invitation.

Question 2No account needed
What shows that vous is plural in the friends’ greeting?

Choose one answer.

Answer and explanation

tous les deux. The second phrase means “both of you” and identifies two people.

Question 3No account needed
Does Bonjour Nora, tu vas bien ? fit a conversation with a friend?

Choose one answer.

Answer and explanation

Yes, this is a natural greeting between friends.. The greeting can accompany the singular familiar form; the pronoun and relationship make the address clear.

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